


Happier

by pinkishlips



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 05:24:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15187754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkishlips/pseuds/pinkishlips
Summary: Renjun tries to move on from Jaemin.But he can't even though he knows that Jaemin is happier when he is with Jeno.





	Happier

**Author's Note:**

> i am back with a renmin fic and this is inspired from ed sheeran's happier! enjoy reading!

**_“Only a month we’ve been apart, you look happier”_ **

  
  


**“Let’s end this.”**

Those three words won’t stop echoing in Renjun’s head. For the record, that’s the nth time today. 

The thing is, it has been a month and Renjun still can’t accept that it’s completely over. Their relationship ended in just one snap. 

All because of  _ one  _ mistake. 

_ ‘How do people move on? How do people tend to forget the ones who once gave them the world?’ _ He asks these questions to himself repeatedly, still wondering why his heart is still shattered into pieces. He asks these questions to himself nonstop, as if someone will appear out of nowhere and tell him the answer he has been looking for.

In the end, he will always blame himself. Jaemin gave up on their three year relationship. 

Three years.

Three years of never-ending love and happiness. 

Three years of promises and creation of dreams.

Three years filled with kisses and tears.

And now, on the first month of their breakup, Renjun decides to go to his favorite coffee shop. Or more like,  _ his  _ favorite coffee shop. It’s the coffee shop where the both of them used to hangout after school. Where Renjun will either be doing his homework or just draw then there will be Jaemin, sitting on the other side of the table, and admire his talented boyfriend.

But that’s all in the past. Renjun will be entering the coffee shop alone with Jaemin holding his hand.

Renjun takes a deep breath before he pushes the door then he hears the bells ringing. He hears the baristas greeting him ‘Good morning!’ and he knows deep inside, these people are wondering why he’s all alone now.

He ordered the usual, carbonara and strawberry frappucino.  _ Jaemin’s favorites _ that has become Renjun’s as well. Renjun needs to order these because of what Johnny has told him one time.

_ All these things that made you remember him, you must start to love them once again. Love them with Jaemin’s faded memory. _

So that is what Renjun is doing right now and it feels like torture. He knows that there is a possibility of him crying any minute soon but he can’t have a crying session at the coffee shop. 

The bell rings once again, signalling that a new set of customers entered the coffee shop. Renjun stands up as he grabs his order from counter but then he hears a familiar laugh.

_ The laugh that made him so in love with the world _ .

“Jeno!” the boy he was in love with exclaims. 

That’s the sign that Renjun was looking for.  _ Jeno _ , the name of the other boy that Jaemin is with. Maybe  _ he  _ is the reason.

 

 

**_“Saw you walk inside a bar, he said something that made you laugh”_ **

Renjun isn’t dumb. He knows that drinking couldn’t cure someone’s heartache. He even told himself that he won’t even dare to touch a bottle of beer tonight. But he still wonders why he agreed to tag along with his hyungs in the first place.

“We are going to the bar tonight! My treat so everyone must go! Except for our minor members.” Taeyong announces and Renjun hears a combination of screams and whines. “Renjun, don’t you dare say no.  You must go outside. Don’t worry, we will be with you most of the time.” Taeyong promises the younger boy and he just nodded, too tired to say no.

Tonight marks the 5th month of the breakup and it still feels painful as ever. “Hey, Renjun. Always stay at my side alright?” Mark suddenly says out of nowhere. Renjun raises his eyebrow because of how random Mark is.

“What do you mean-” 

Then he hears the familiar laugh again.

_ Everything is foreign _ .

_ But painful _ .

Renjun sees Jaemin enter the bar with Jeno holding his hand. Mark suddenly placed his arm around Renjun for he knows that the younger boy is still suffering from the breakup even though it has been almost half of the year. “Don’t look at them. Just focus on the pizza on the table.” Mark whispers on him and Renjun can’t help but laugh a little despite the pain that he is feeling right on his chest.

**Jaemin is Renjun’s first love and first heartbreak.**

Renjun tries his best to control himself. He keeps on reminding himself not to steal a glance on Jaemin. But then, he can’t stay still so he slowly turned his head to the other side.

There he sees him, the one who used to be the love of his life, together with another guy who has a pretty smile. ‘I wonder if he used to be in love with my smile.’ Renjun thought to himself as he continues to observe the two boys who are busy chatting. He sees Jeno grab Jaemin’s hand and Jaemin smiled really big.

_ Jaemin’s smile could really light up the room _ . 

Now, the boys secretly made sure that Renjun and Jaemin won’t meet tonight because the situation is going to be worse on Renjun’s side. The thing is, Renjun is finished with his fifth bottle and now he is a sobbing mess. 

_ “That was me months ago with him. I kept on admiring him because for me, he’s the world. My everything. And now, he’s there with him, so much happier.” _

And now, after hearing those words fall from Renjun’s mouth, Sicheng wished that he stopped Renjun when the young boy once asked if love could make someone happy.

Because happiness is equivalent to sadness.

 

 

**_“My friends told me one day, I’ll feel it too. And until then, I’ll smile to hide the truth. But I know I was happier with you.”_ **

  
  


Renjun kept on faking his smiles until it has become a habit. He wants his friends to stop worrying about him because to be honest, it has been nine months already.

Nine months and he is still  _ suffering _ .

But then, Kun knows if someone is faking their happiness or not. So he has no choice but drag Renjun to his room and have a heart to heart talk with him. Renjun finds it so corny because he doesn’t want those kind of talks. He knows that he will end up looking like an idiot. But Kun is the type of friend to listen and comfort him until the pain is gone.

“Tell me something I don’t know, Renjun.” Kun suddenly says, making Renjun grip the pillow beside him real tight. He hates opening up to people. He hates it so much because he knows that any minute soon, tears will start to pour down from his eyes. “Tell me something aside from the fact that you are still crying to sleep because of Jaemin.”

Renjun takes a deep breath as he tries to find the courage to speak. “It hurts so much to talk about it..” he mumbles as the tears start to fall. “But I know that I’m the reason why he left. I wasn’t enough for him. He deserves so much better.”

“Hey.” Kun sits beside Renjun and starts rubbing his shoulder. “Don’t say that. Maybe you two deserve so much better and not just him.”

“But why is it he moved on right away?”   
  
“We will never know why.” Kun assures him but deep inside, Kun assumes that Jaemin looked for a rebound immediately in order to forget about the pain.

Little did Renjun know, Kun knows the reason why Jaemin decided to break up.

That will remain as a secret.

 

 

**_“Sat in the corner of the room, everything’s reminding me of you.”_ **

  
  


**“Jaemin and Renjun’s memory box”** Renjun reads those words out loud. There on top of his bed is the box that Jaemin gave him on their first anniversary. Inside that box, there are pictures, letters, everything. All of the memories, where the both of them laughed, cried, and fell in love. In that memory box, there goes all of the happy memories that they had.

How Jaemin held his hand and told him that everything is going to be okay. 

How Jaemin happily took pictures of Renjun.

How Jaemin used to write songs for Renjun. 

How Jaemin made Renjun feel like it’s worth living.

All of the things that Jaemin told him are echoing in his head once again.

_ Everything and everywhere just reminds him of Jaemin.  _

“How am I going to let you go when you are the best thing that has ever happened to me?” Renjun asks as he admires Jaemin’s polaroid picture that is resting on his hand. He stares at the picture that happens to be one of his favorites. It was at the photobooth during their arcade date and both of them looked so happy. 

So happy that Renjun wishes to turn back time.

So happy that Renjun wishes that Jaemin will appear out of nowhere and tell him that everything is okay.

But this is the saddest reality.

 

 

**_“But if he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that I’ll be waiting here for you.”_ **   
  


Today marks one year.

One year of the breakup.

One year of Renjun hopelessly wishing that Jaemin still has the key of the dorm. So that Jaemin will rush inside and go straight to Renjun's arms.

But all that Renjun does is dream and wait for nothing.

Earlier today, Renjun got a phone call from Jaemin, asking if it is okay for them to talk about anything. Renjun knows deep inside that Jaemin is crying so he didn't mind, even though he is shocked because Jaemin finally called him after a year. They talked about anything aside from Jeno and aside from the fact that they used to be together. It's just them being casual.

Now Renjun promised to himself that when Jeno tries to make Jaemin cry once again, he will be the first person to comfort Jaemin. He doesn’t even care anymore if Jaemin will call him stupid and push him away. He wants to let Jaemin know that will always be here and will do everything just to see him once again.

Renjun sends a message to Jaemin and he got ‘okay’ in return.

And Renjun hopes that maybe, just maybe, Jeno will never ever cry to make Jaemin cry again because if he does, Renjun is going to do everything for Jaemin to fall into his arms once again.

“We are going to be happy once again, Jaemin. The two of us together.”

_ Not just now. Maybe someday. _


End file.
